New Jokes Updated Daily - omo sexy

Riddles and Jokes to soothes the mind and soul

16 people like this topic, 18 people dislike this topic

User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

HOW WILL YOU FEEL IF.

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:19 pm

HOW WILL YOU FEEL IF. . . .
1. You wake up in the morning, look into the
mirror and you cant see your face?
2. You take LUX bath in it doesnt lather on
your body. . .
3. You shittz well well into a chamber pot
after taking purgative and after, you see crabs
in the chamber pot
4.You take picture with your webcam and you
see Mugabe 5.You call people with your
phone for 2 days and none of them answer
6.You go to the market to buy meat, and
butcher says he wont sell it to you! 7.You post
a joke and after 7 days still 1 Like and 0
Comment
8.Guy, you go for check up and doctor tell you
say you get belle!
9.You mess well alone in your room and mess
nor dey smell. . . 10.You dey shittz for bush
and your own shittz come dey tell you say" do
quick!, do quick!!"


User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

A wife treats her husband

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:19 pm

A wife treats her husband by taking him to a
strip club for his birthday.
At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how
are you?"
The wife asks, "How does he know you?"
Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"
Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything,
He's on the Darts team."
Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the
special again?"
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her &
jumps into a taxi. The Taxi driver Says, "Hey
Jimmy boy!
You picked up an ugly one this time..."
.
Jim's Funeral is on Sunday!!!
User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

Akpos woke up from sleep

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:19 pm

Akpos woke up from sleep and found a letter
on top of the fridge, he took the letter and it
reads..
"It's no more working and i can't continue
staying here, i'm gone and till something is
done about it, i'm not going to come back"
Akpos opened the fridge, took out a chilled
drink and took a sip.. With surprise on his
face, he said..
"But the fridge is working now, what the hell
is she talking about?"
User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

Akpos is applying for a

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:19 pm

Akpos is applying for a job as a signalman for
the local railroad and is told to meet the
inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Akpos a pop
quiz, asking: "What would you do if you
realized that two trains were heading
towards each other on the same track?"
Akpos says: "I would switch one train to
another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the
manual lever down there", answers Akpos.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
challenges the inspector.
"Then," Akpos continued, "I'd run back up
here and use the phone to call the next signal
box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Akpos argued, "I'd run to the
street level and use the public phone near the
station".
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"Oh well," said Akpos, "in that case I would
run into town and get my Brother Ofego".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why
would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash."
User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

Bill Gates organized an enormous session

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:21 pm

Bill Gates organized an enormous
session to recruit a new CEO for
Microsoft Europe. Five thousand candidates
assembled in
a large room. One candidate is
Ayodele a Naija guy. Bill Gates thanked all the
candidates for
coming and asking those who do
not know Java program to leave.
Two thousand candidates leave the
room. Ayodele says to himself, "I do
not know JaVa but I have nothing to lose if I
stay. I'll give it a try. Bill Gates asked the
candidates who
never had experience of managing
more than 100 people to leave. Two
thousand leave the room. Ayodele says
to himself "I never managed anybody
by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?" So
he stays. Then Bill Gates asked candidates
who
do not have management diplomas to
leave. Five hundred people leave the
room. Ayodele says to himself, "I left
school at 15 but what have I got to
lose?" So he stays in the room. Lastly, Bill gates
asked the candidates
who do not speak Serb-Croatian to
leave. Four hundred ninety-eight
candidates leave the room. Ayodele
says to himself, "I do not speak one
word of Serb - Croatian but what do I have to
lose?" So he stays and finds
himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joined them
and said,
"Apparently you are the only two
candidates who speak Serb - Croatian,
so I'd now like to hear you have a
conversation together in that
language." Calmly, Ayodele turns to the other
candidate and says, "Wahala wa o!"
The other candidate answers "O gaju o
User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

Akpos who has no wife,

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:23 pm

Akpos who has no wife, no child, no money,
no home, a blind mother, infact very very
poor.
But one day, he saw a magician who
promised to grant him only one wish.
Magician : tell me one thing u wish and i will
do it for u right now
Akpos : ok, i have one wish, i want my
mother to see my wife carrying two out of my
kids in my hummer jeep parked near the
swimming pool in one of my many mansions
situated at london city.
magician
.
.
.
Fainted
User avatar
synteche
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:12 pm

Teacher: "What is 1+1? Children: "8" Teacher:

Postby synteche » Wed Mar 18, 2015 9:23 pm

Teacher: "What is 1+1?
Children: "8"
Teacher: "Correct"
Teacher: "What is 2+5?"...
Children: "14
" Teacher: "Correct"
Teacher: "What is 4+6?
Children: "20
"Teacher: "Good, it will remain like that until
government pays my salary!

Return to “Jokes Etc”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron