Hotel sex is all about an escape from your everyday boudoir routine.
There are no rules, plus there's room service, spa treatments, and those
crisp white hotel sheets that someone else cleans up. To fully embrace the
glory that is hotel sex, you need to use the fuck out of that room. Use all
the toiletries, throw the towels on the floor when you're done with them,
and have sex all over everything. (If you just ignore the fact that everyone
before you did the same thing, you should be just fine.)
Here are some ways to enjoy your stay.
1. FOUR-POSTER FANTASY
Stand on the pillows (Not yours to wash!) and face the wall, grabbing onto
a bedpost and propping a foot on the headboard. This works best at a bed
and breakfast where defiling the dainty space seems extra dirty, but works
in any room with a headboard or bed posts. Usually you should be totally
present with your partner, but in this case, feel quite free to press your
cheek against the old-timey wallpaper and have a full-on, ultra-girly
historical romantic fantasy. You can tell him about it as he fucks you ...or
2.THE DO NOT DISTURB
Hotels always have big-ass mirrors that are perfect for watching
yourselves having sex. Find that mirror, drag a chair or that flimsy
luggage rack thing over there, and start making out, murmuring something
like, "Look how hot we look." Tell him you want to watch as he slides
inside you and prop your leg up so you can both see how completely sexy
you look. There's a reason people are voyeurs and exhibitionists — do this
and you'll see why.
3. THE WAKE-UP CALL
Sleep in as long as you like (You can!) and wake up slowly. Start the day
by lying on your stomach, open your legs a bit, and let him slide in from
behind. After sharing a bed all night, your bodies will be relaxed and
ready for each other (especially his because of the glories of morning
wood) and since you're facing away from him, no worries about the non-
glories of morning breath.
4. FOR ADULTS ONLY
Anyone can turn on the computer and wank to some porn, but there's
something delightfully forbidden and old-school about checking out the
"adult" channel that still exists in every hotel. Suggest seeing what's on
(this is even more effective if it's out of character for you) and position
yourselves facing the TV in a doggy position with your head lifted up so
you can both see. If you're feeling it, copy what the actors are doing. Be as
loud as you want (because, hotel!) If you receive a noise complaint, count
it as a badge of honor.
5. THE UPWARD AFFAIR
A hotel is ideal for acting out a fantasy role-play. The best part is, you can
be absolutely anyone. Seduction of the room service delivery guy/maid?
Adulterous lovers secretly meeting for the first time? Put your ass at the
edge of the bed, legs over his shoulders, and have him lean down between
your legs. Just throw yourselves into it. Role-play is weirdly freeing
because it's not "you," it's your character.